UGG The Neanderthal

Do you have a query on how to get things done in Andalucia, where to find things, who to call? Find out by posting and hear about others experiences.
BENIDORM
Andalucia Guru
Posts: 3982
Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2006 2:15 pm
Location: Granada Province

UGG The Neanderthal

Postby BENIDORM » Tue Mar 15, 2011 5:56 pm

Hello my name is Ugg, I'm Neanderthal and I live in Andalucia...well I did many thousands of years ago...
First of all I have to thank Gordon for translating this for me...

Now my little story......
I was sat in an internet cave when I noticed a cave painting advert for Ryanair Time Travel..at bargain prices... just two Sabre Tooth Tiger skins for time travel to the year 2011...
Well I could never resist a bargain, so I booked and paid for it straight away...however I was a bit miffed when I was was informed at 'check in' that if I wanted to take my wooden club I should have booked Club Class... :(
So I left my club behind with my son Little Ugg, who had come to see me off...

What a nightmare the Time Travel flight was, first of all I was charged 2 flint arrow heads to have a pee....usually I just water the bushes outside the caves, keeps the mosquitos down..
Then would you believe they wanted 3 flint arrow heads for a glass of water...
no one should have to pay for water...
Anyway I was really glad when we arrived in 2011 at Malalga Airport, but wow how different everywhere seemed...terrible..
I walked around for hours looking for my cave, just to see if it was the same....
How disappointed I was to find that a family of Pikeys were now living in my cave, what a mess, outside where I used to keep my mammoth bones there was a great pile of old fridges and things, what an eyesore...
And inside I could see that the walls of my cave were painted white..all my lovely cave drawings had disappeared....
I was so sad, and I sat under some trees and had my meal of dried fish and some nuts, and I was feeling really depressed when Gordon walked past, he looked at me rather strangely, but did come to talk to me, he said,
''What's up Neanderthal...Have you missed the Stanstead flight'' ?.. .... :lol:

So I then told him my tale of woe, and he brought me up-to-date on what had happened in Spain since my days....
Everything seems so complicated now, and I was already missing my three wives and all of my baby Uggs..
Gordon told me about all of the crime etc, and I told him how simple life was for me...
If someone came to barter with me I would swop what I had, after arguing for awhile, but if someone tried to steal from me I would hit them over the head and then feed them to my pet Sabre-Toothed Tiger...Simples....!!
And if I got fed-up with one of my wives I could easily trade her for some animal skins... :wink:

So I thanked Gordon for being a friend and I returned to Malaga Time-Travel airport...
What a nightmare getting on the flight..they treated us like a load of cavemen.....

But I was really glad to get back on the return time travel flight and get home to my cosy cave....

And would I swop with you and live in the future ?..no chance..I'm having a great time in ancient times....

Regards,
Ugg the Neanderthal...

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google Adsense [Bot] and 45 guests