Bullying in Schools

[Raquel]

Hi everyone

This is my first time on this forum I've lived in Andalucia for six years and in five weeks we are moving to England, which we are looking forward too.

One of the main reasons that we are moving is because of my daughters unhappiness in school. Even though she has attended Spanish schools since she was five (she's now eleven) and can speak Spanish fluently she was subjected to constant bullying, racist remarks, verbal abuse and violence which the teachers constantly turned a blind eye too. The last straw was last February when after constant abuse everyday, death threats and violence (pushed down the stairs) she came home from school and said that a boy who was much bigger than her kicked her in the stomach and punched her in the head twice whilst the head-teacher was standing next to them. I immediately removed her from the school and was very disappointed with the schools general attitude as they seemed to think that it was nothing to worry about. Along with this her grades had dropped as the teacher basically had no interest in teaching her and the other English girl in her class, I then found out that he used to refer to her as 'the foreign child' in my eyes this is racism.

I would like to know if anyone here has had similar experiences, as a lot of other parents I have spoken to in the area have similar stories and the other English kids in the school have since left.

[MiriamO]

What a terrible tale. Which part of Andalucia are you living in at the moment?

In the five years we have lived here I have seen a rapid decline in the way Brits are treated. Spaniards delight in "taking the mick" out of the Brits and not in a pleasant way either. Anyone hearing the expression "hijo de la Grand Britania" can be sure it is not far removed from that other favourite expression beginning with "hijo de ....". Of course, youngsters will pick up these attitudes from their parents and particularly from teenagers who seem to have a definite down on us, and more and more of this will begin to happen. I am amazed at the number of people living here who just do not see what is happening but blithely imagine they are surrounded by nice smiling Spaniards who love us. I'm afraid they are deluded. We are resented bitterly for things as varied as "putting up the house prices so that their children can no longer buy" - but we only paid what they, in their greedy way, asked for. "taking their work" - but they have ripped people off for years, charging outrageous prices for shoddy workmanship, no-one should be surprised when people will see a gap in the market and fill it. Or, more ironically, NOT working if we happen to have retired early and aren't seen dragging round like octagenerians.

Educational standards are extremely low across Andalucia. Teachers of, for instance, English, do not necessarily actually speak the language but have a book from which they teach rigidly, strange English pronounciation included. And woe betide any English children who do not conform. I have a friend here who used to be constantly at her childrens' school explaining that what her children had said or written was absolutely correct, but just a different way of saying something. The children were totally disheartened by being told they could not speak their own language. And look at the take-up of university places. In the small town I live in I am aware of only three university graduates.

Good luck with your journey back to the UK. Your daughter will probably have to work hard to pick herself back up to UK standards but she will always have her Spanish as an asset later. She will probably be happier amongst her peers but don't forget that the UK has bullying problems too. I don't imagine the head-teacher would let it go on under his/her nose though!

[waterlily]

How I feel for your daughter.
We moved here in September of last year. We have 3 children, all school age and were concerned that they would find the 'learning side' of our new life in Spain, difficult. Our eldest daughter has special needs and we were more than pleasantly surprised when our local school agreed to take all 3 of our children into the system. Our eldest daughter has had the least problems. The headmistress of the school took her under her wing and she was somewhat protected fron the obvious racism and bullying that indeed takes place in the school on a daily basis.
Our middle daughter aged 12, was constantly picked on by over indulged spanish boys who seem to consider English children as fair game. I asked my children to 'bear with it' until things calmed down. I was constantly at the school complaining that my children were being treated unfairly and were coming home covered in bruises from the kicks and punches that were delivered during the course of the day. Every morning my children were in a state of anxiety and begged me not to send them. How I wish I had listened and removed them. But no, I was more concerned with their education and a belief that it would all be ok in the end!
I arrived at the school one afternoon to bring my children home and was met by my youngest daughter hysterically crying and sobbing. My middle daughter had been beaten severly by a young spanish lad. I was furious. When I got to her she was bent double where he had kicked her in the stomach several times and her head was already lumpy where he had used his foot freely. There were no teachers to be seen, all had magically disappeared. I managed to track down her teacher (who incidentally had no interest in teaching my Lucy, preferring it seemed to ridicule her in front of the whole class when she could not answer questions put to her) and asked him what had happened. He replied, and I quote, 'Lucy must have done something to start the fight, Antonio is a good boy from a good family who would do no such thing without provocation'!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I told you what I told him that night I'm afraid it would be removed from this forum. This incident happened a few weeks prior to the summer break and I have not returned her to the school. We are due to move to another part of Spain fairly soon and I shall enrol her in another school, this one I am told will not tolerate bullying of any form. Please god this is so.
One thing that surprised me was when I spoke to the headmistres the following day regarding this incident and the many others my children have had to endure, her response was. I may be the headmistress of this school but my hands are tied when it comes to Don Antonio (Lucys form tutor). Whats all that about!!!
Hopefully my children will be able to settle in the new school and there are no more incidents regarding the bullying. Hindsight is a cheap commodity and I so wish I had listened to my children prior to this happening instead of thinking I was doing the right thing by sending them day after day to show that we were serious in our integration and perhaps thinking that my kids were being a little over the top!
I wish you and your daughter well in your decision to return to the UK and I am so sorry that she had to endure the attentions of small minded, overindulged, outright bullies.

Waterlily x

[Acoustic]

This sounds like a bad experience for you.

One thing to bear in mind though is that the connotations we place on words like "extranero" are really not there to the Spanish. They are just stating a fact - we are after all foreign in the sense we are not Spanish. It's quite clearly printed across the top of a Residencia card and, despite speaking pretty fluent Spanish, I've been referred to as an extranero many times.

So, on top of your daughter's problems with her schoolmates I don't think her teacher's remarks are worth worrying about. Now the teacher's actual attitude might be a different matter of course...

Good luck with the move and I hope things work out for you all.

[paulellis]

My niece attended school in Coin & was constantly bullied along with other British children. That is not to say she is in any way an 'angel', but the bullying started with the teachers. How then do we expect the local children to learn tolerance & respect for all if it is not shown by the staff.

In the end the Head Teacher called my sister to the school and suggested she take her daughter out of classes and 'maybe' think about sending her back in September (this was February last year!). His approach seemed to be if the 'target' is removed the bullying will stop - some hope!

Since then my niece has had sporadic home tuition, but I worry for her education and future

[olivefarmer]

Hi All

I feel that bullying in Spanish schools is rife, however is it worse than the UK 5 or 10 years ago or even now. We moved with our 3 children to Spain 3 years ago, at the time there ages were 15(B), 13(G) and 9(B).

Our oldest suffered no problems at school, and i personaly beleive that as the children get older the bullies tend to leave school.

Our daughter suffered only once, in the first 6 months of school she was verbally abused by one classmate (boy). This came to a head when one day he stood nose to nose with her shouting at her. My daughter slapped him round the face in front of her class. End of bullying.

Our youngest suffered the most, he has slight learning problems. All his problems with bullying came at luch time (living out of town he had lunch before he came home on the bus). His food would be stolen off his plate and he was hit if he tried to complain, this went on for a about 4 months, we didnt notice as he would eat enough, as he was a small child. We received a call from school that our son was fighting at school, when we arrived 6 or 7 of his class mates were standing with our son and we thought the worst. However it turned out that the bullies stealing his food had started on him at break time, our son had had enough and fought back and was dragged off by these classmates. The bullies had been picking on a few of the smaller children or like our son (english children)

Since then he has really got on well, although he still has some problems with learning, but he has improved rapidly. We have never had any problems with the teachers or schools in general and they lay on extra lessons after school for alll children to keep up with lessons in preperation for moving up.

I think that sometimes children have to learn to stick up for themselves, I will add that none of my children were in trouble at school in the UK, but having been wrapped in cotton wool.

Olivefarmer

[spanish_lad]

i´ve often heard my friends talk about bullying of the english children at spanish schools here. it seems that it is an "accepted" issue

[Troglodyfae]

Ah this nasty can of worms comes to haunt me here too. Hi Raquel this is actually someone you know Wilma

I know Raquels story and she has my sympathy as she knows and I know I have hers.

I can only speak about the coast with regard to education and not the coast of Andalucia the coast of the costa blanca. It seems from what I have read that this is not isolated to one area but seems to be fairly spread.

I have too many inccidents to relate but the worst to my mind was the action of a teacher. My daughter had been absent from school with recurrent tonsilitus, she was then 13, the teacher told the class to continue from where they had finished in the last maths lesson. My daughter clearly had not been there for that lesson so waited until the teacher had finished giving instruction and then went to the teacher to explain that she had been absent that lesson due to illness. Now I thought that showed a certain amount of maturity and respect, the teacher took it another way. She snatched the text book from her hand, ripped it in two and called her a stupid english piece of *beep*, and ordered her out of the class. Needless to say I went balistic. The text book was our property, she had no right at all talking to anyone in that manner least of all a child, and she should not be in teaching. I can say that with hand on heart as all of my family are in education in a teaching sphere. My daughter was removed from the school never to return and it seems I was not alone. 22 families also removed their children from this school in that month. Sadly the only acceptable way to complete my daughters education at such a critical time was to send her back to the UK, and a decision that broke my heart as I now only have 'holiday time ' with her. She is doing very well but we miss eachother so much, she is here with me now. She is now 16.

This is just one example and I am sure from the responses I have seen here that is just the tip of the iceberg

[crazyrhythm]

OMG! This is a dreadful state of affairs!
Surely there is something to be done about this other than having to send children back to the UK for their education or putting them into private school? Isn't there an equivalent of an MP who can be consulted so that someone can be made accountable? What happened to this nation who are wonderful to children? Apparently their children but not ours by the looks of things. I think all I can do is be thankful that my children completed their education in the UK. For all it's faults the teachers were generally even handed.

[fullthrottle]

I am amazed at the number of people living here who just do not see what is happening but blithely imagine they are surrounded by nice smiling Spaniards who love us. I'm afraid they are deluded. We are resented bitterly for things as varied as "putting up the house prices so that their children can no longer buy" - but we only paid what they, in their greedy way, asked for. "taking their work" - but they have ripped people off for years, charging outrageous prices for shoddy workmanship, no-one should be surprised when people will see a gap in the market and fill it.

Yep that sums up a minority of ignorant spanish people up, they can be one of the most corrupt, racist nations in europe and would still be extremely poor in andalucia if it wasn't for the tourist industry, the area contains no natural resources or ability to provide heavy industry or feed itself, you only have to count the number of mayors and officals in court recently to grasp how corrupt the local political set up is, But it is not fair to tar all spanish people with this brush. Like any nation there is good and bad, unfortunatly due to the large numbers of outsiders in Andalucia the problems are highlighted tenfold here.
As for "taking their work", visit the Malaga airport construction site and see who is building this infustructure, It isn't local spanish labour due to the fact they don't want the work, why remains a mystery, maybe they consider it beneath them, or maybe their lack of education stops them. House prices have been driven up by their greed so they can have no complaints there, they were happy to take the money offered.
I am so sorry to hear the tales of bullying and it reminds me of a tale told by a friend who lived in the canary islands of how their young son was treated, it took a direct threat of phyiscal violence againt the parents of the children involved before the matter was settled. Not an ideal solution but the problem is made much worse by the teachers attitudes towards the newcomers, the UK and EU provides laws which are enforced to stop this behaviour in most countries, but Spain believes itself to be above implementing any legislation which it doesn't agree with, maybe a stop to the money they recieve from Brussels would give them the kick they so obviously need.

[Alan-LaCala]

I am amazed at the number of people living here who just do not see what is happening but blithely imagine they are surrounded by nice smiling Spaniards who love us. I'm afraid they are deluded

The bad experiences that people have had are terrible, but I do not believe they are anywhere near the norm.

I have no experience of schools here, and have only been here 10 months, but have encountered nothing but kindness fron the spanish. If I felt like thw quote, I frankly would go back to the UK.

Alan

[redsoxbrit]

My son has just finished yr 6 in a local primary school and I can honestly say that, apart from the initial language barrier which he has now overcome, he did not have any problems being accepted by his tutors or his peers. I must say that he did make an effort to understand and integrate and not just hang with the British children but I'm sure that most children would be advised to do that anyway. Also, he is by no means an extremely confident or overbearing boy, being quite small for his age, but he joined the school and local football team and has gradually earned their respect.
I have seen bullying outside the school gates between older gitanos and Moroccans (who must be the most hated race in Andalucia) but a policia locale presence soon nipped that one in the bud and I think that was more territorial than anything else.
I do worry as my son goes up to secondary school in September but I would also worry if we were in the UK so we shall just have to wait and see what happens.
What strikes me also is that the majority of bullied children mentioned here seem to be girls and I know of a few myself but can't understand why it happens

[Troglodyfae]

I cannot speak for this region as my daughter was educated in the coastal area of the Costa Blanca. There were also boys who were picked on but I agree the majority were girls. Not sure if this applies to the other people whose children had problems, but we did notice that most of the girls at my daughters school that were bullied, had blonde hair ! My daughter was quite capable of handling herself with her peer group, and that was not where the problems arose, her issues were mainly with two of the teachers at the school, and she was not alone and I do not think it was just because she was a British child as other nationalities also suffered.

One of the above mentioned teachers insisted that all of the expat kids sat at the back of the class and the Spanish kids sat at the front. She would also refuse to help the expat kids, if they were having problems.
She most clearly was not the norm and I believe she had some major problems with teaching non Spanish kids.

That said there were some very lovely teachers at her school who were more than aware of the problems but the director of the school would not allow any interference from them, and refused to accept there was a problem. The outcome was that the school was closed, teachers were removed as was the director and the school reopened. Sadly too late for my daughter as we could not allow and further interruptions to her education, nor were we in a position to move and take her to a new school as I care for my elderly mother. Just wish that we had been living in this area as the people here have been more than lovely to us, and do not view us as intruders, more as friends and neighbours.

[Raquel]

Hi everyone thank you for your replies sadly as I suspected it looks like my daughter is not the only child to have suffered this. This is a long post but I wanted to reply to you all personally.

MiriamO your post has summed up so much of how I feel right now as for the name calling ‘hija de ****’ my daughter was called this many times and sometimes just the **** I think this is unacceptable behaviour from ten year olds. I was always under the impression that this nation was full of smiling friendly welcoming people (which lots are) but not all (as with any country) but like you I feel that foreigners in this country get a raw deal in every aspect of their lives not just school which in our countries would not be acceptable.
As for the education standards I agree with you, I think the education system in this area is sub-standard and basic, her teachers were scruffy and basically were not interested in giving the children the education that they are entitled too, my daughters teacher used to have the radio blaring in the classroom and if my daughter got stuck on a sum or something he would tell her to ‘work it out for herself’.
Thanks for your wishes of luck and hopefully she will get stuck in to her work over there and pick herself up, her self esteem has dropped, she thinks she is ugly (even though everyday I tell her how beautiful she is everyday) as a result of being told everyday from everybody on the school bus and at school that she is ‘fea’ because of her pale skin and freckles, A couple of weeks ago I was horrified when I noticed that she had shaved of half her eyebrows as she thought this would make her pretty so we really have some work to do and I am even considering if she doesn’t improve when we move sending her to a child psychologist.
Hopefully she wont stand out so much over in England also I have told her any hint of bullying she has to tell us or the teacher and it will be nipped in the bud.
Btw we are living in ‘estacion de cartama’ where we have been for 3 years and before that we lived in fuengirola for 3 years.

Waterlily – How I feel for your children as well the violence is a big problem and I heard the ‘my hands are tied’ many times as well. Especially when she was on the school bus as “what happens on the school bus is nothing to do with the school” and when I spoke to her teacher he said, “yes violence is a big problem in this school” and I’m like well why not do something about it? Like the response you got my daughter was always to blame as sadly it seems to me they will not accept that a Spanish child can do wrong, its always the foreign Childs fault. As for the boys hitting her that is not a surprise it has nearly always been boys that have been violent towards my daughter which seems to be the norm, don’t forget that Spain has a massive domestic violence rate here and on average one women is murdered a week by her partner. So maybe this is the reason the boys start young and perhaps the reason it seems acceptable. Without sounding obnoxious I really think this country has a lot of catching up to do. One thing that worries me about your post was the fact that you felt “pleasantly surprised” that the school “agreed” to take your children, they have to take your children by law just as a Spanish child would be entitled to a free education in the UK and probably one that doesn’t involve racism from children and teachers.
I really hope everything works out for your children in their new school and they do not have to endure anymore of this abuse, as in the long term it can be very damaging. Like you I carried on sending my child to school for the sake of her education but then realised her education was suffering by sending her to this awful school.

Accoustic- thank you for your wishes of luck perhaps culture differences confuse certain expressions things that we would find insulting might not be directed as an insult. Although I do think that a child who has had all of her schooling through the Spanish system and speaks Spanish fluently along with all the Spanish customs etc, shouldn’t be referred to as a foreigner on a daily basis by a person in authority. I went to a multi cultural school in London and there was Chinese, Indian, African, Turkish, Portuguese pupils and not once did I hear these children referred to as foreign.

Paulellis- I am appalled by the teacher’s attitude at your nieces school it is completely unacceptable and what sickens me the most is that the bullies can continue to receive their education while the victim loses out. I am familiar with Coin as I live in a nearby village, I had also heard of some terrible stories in a close by school in ‘villafranco’ where English kids were in constant battles with Spanish kids.

Olivfarmer – Hi what another awful story, I can fully understand what you are saying about children needing to stick up for themselves as I have always told my child to do this but the problem she has encountered is that anytime she answers back or even dare fight back, they come mob handed and involve their brothers, sisters, cousins, etc who are usually older and bigger and there is no way that she can stand up to them, she has come home scared out of wits, she even started wetting the bed as a result of her fear and having nightmares. After years of this escalating abuse I had no choice but to remove her. I have even heard that the local secondary school is much worse so there is no way that I would send her there as all I can foresee is what was a happy intelligent, talented child going through the system depressed, used as a punch bag and leaving school with no qualifications.

Spanishlad – It does seem accepted which is awful and really times need to change, but how?

Troglodyfae – Hi Wilma the story of the teacher does not surprise me, my daughter has been screamed at and had her work ripped up many times, but really what sort of way is this to teach children, how about encouragement and praise and perhaps when they are struggling, help. When my daughter first started school here when she was five she had some teething problems which is inevitable, one day I picked her up from school and she was really quite (which is unusual) we stopped off at the playground where she started balling and told me that the teacher had hit her…. which I was shocked about but because of my naivety and being new to a foreign country I never questioned it or complained as I assumed that this is the way things are done in this country. I hope everything works out well for your daughter and she receives the education that she so rightly deserves.

Crazyrhythm – This is an awful state of affairs but as troglodyfae pointed out just the tip of the iceberg, there are so many other things that foreign people accept which are wrong, corrupt etc but get on with things, for me personally its because I don’t feel I have the strength to stand up for my rights in this country and feel that if I tried there would be a comeuppance. There are many other reasons that we are leaving as well but to be honest they are for other threads. As for the nation of child lovers I couldn’t agree more, although I do have to say we have some lovely Spanish friends who have been great towards my daughter.

Fullthrottle – you have made some really valid points especially where corruption is involved and perhaps if Brussels did withdraw some money it might make them think, also perhaps if foreigners stopped investing in this country and started protesting with our feet they might realize what an asset foreigners are to this country. But sadly for every person who leaves there are ten more getting off the planes with wads of cash ready to invest in their Spanish dream and so it continues and the system can carry on as always. Blaming Brits for everything gone wrong in Spain.

Anyway 4 weeks to go and slowly but surely my daughter is getting some of her confidence back, she is a wonderful singer and used o actually sing in public performances but due to move of area and circumstances stopped and lost interest along with her self esteem and recently she has been singing again to her hearts content and once we move I shall enroll her into a part time stage school. At the weekend we went to the beach had a lovely day and as we were leaving she went to play on the playground where some kids strted calling her ‘white-girl’ and ‘get off our playground English girl’ and then went on to steal her shoes, its just this sort of stuff that reinforces our decision to leave this country.

Thanks again everyone for you comments and I wish you all the best with your childrens futures.

[Raquel]

My son has just finished yr 6 in a local primary school and I can honestly say that, apart from the initial language barrier which he has now overcome, he did not have any problems being accepted by his tutors or his peers...

Hi, my daughter has fully integrated into Spanish life as this is something I have always encouraged, I cant help feeling that I have alienated myself from British people in the region because of my desperation to integrate into a Spanish way of life as I have always stayed well clear of the 'Brit communities' shops bars etc thinking back I wonder if this was a mistake.
As for the gitanos in all honestly many of her problems were from gitanos and its funny that you should mention Moroccans as there was two rather large Moroccan boys who used her as a punch bag on occasions and she even told me that one day one of them brought a pellet gun to school and was firing it at everyone, surly this boy should have been removed from school?
imo the reason girls are singled out is down to the rate of domestic violence in this country and that it is accepted, it all boils down to cowardice and perhaps the reason your boy has been left alone because perhaps they might get punched back.

[Raquel]

One of the above mentioned teachers insisted that all of the expat kids sat at the back of the class and the Spanish kids sat at the front. She would also refuse to help the expat kids, if they were having problems.
She most clearly was not the norm and I believe she had some major problems with teaching non Spanish kids.

This is similar to the way my daughter was taught, left at the back of the class or in a seat where she couldnt see the board.

[silver]

I am sorry that your child has been a victim, but bullying is a problem everywhere, not just in Spain.
Raquel As stated on this web http://www.gold.ac.uk/euconf/
a uk study
* 1 in 4 primary school were bullied at least more than once or twice in any term;
* 1 in 10 in secondary school were bullied at least more than once or twice in any term;
* 1 in 10 primary aged students and 1 in 25 secondary aged students are more frequently bullied, up to several times a week.
* large variations in levels of reported bullying between schools and some classes/year groups within schools.
* size of school and ethnic mix of school population did not correlate significantly with levels of bullying, although socio-economic disadvantage did.
I hope you reported these incidents to the education authorities as well as you have done here, because they are the ones with the power to intervene and help fight this problem.

[Raquel]

Hi silver Thank you for this report, I just hope that in England if she is a victim of bullying again that hopefully I would be able to do something to stop it, although I do know of some terrible cases of bullying where victims have been removed from school.

As for reporting the incidents I didn't, one reason was I didnt know how to or where to go, secondly because we are leaving I didnt see the need and felt that it would be overlooked and thirdly the school actually threatened us with the authorities the police and ayuntamiento because we took her out of school and I had to sign a letter stating that the reason I was removing her from school because we were leaving the country to stop them.

[silver]

As for reporting the incidents I didn't, one reason was I didnt know how to or where to go...

Please post the name of the school, and I will send a letter to the education authority....I think they should know about this in order to stop this happening to others.

[Alpujarra]

.