Domestic Violence

[julian]

I think you´ll find that the police do prosecute even if the wife doesn´t personally denounce the husband.all hospitals automatically are obliged to inform the police if they treat anyone that they suspect has been attacked, and they do so, not only on wife-beating incidents.

[crazyred]

Well, 30 years ago in the UK this was not the case, and unless there has been a recent change, was not aware that things were any different.
If the authorities in Spain will prosecute anyway, then what does it matter to anybody if the partner denounces or not?

[Troglodyfae]

I think a good few years ago a new plan of action was announced by the home office and moreover the way in which the Police deal with domestic violence. Many years ago Police would attend a domestic violence call but their main role was that of mediator. Now common assault in these situations is an arrestable offence, irrespective of the views of the person who has been deemed to have been assaulted. This now also extends to those people who are not married but living together as man and wife. Greater understanding has also been given to the position of 'battered males', which is now being reported more often. Not sure if that is an indication that more men are suffering at the hands of violent women, or if they feel more able to report these incidences.

I was once in a very violent marriage, which I have to say did not last long, but what was most distressing about that time was that people found it hard to believe that my then mild mannered husband was indeed a violent thug.

My eldest daughter was recently savagely beaten by her husband, and I am proud to say she will never take him back. She had vague memories of what she once witnessed as a child, and although at the time she did not understand what was happening or why. She said that she finally understood with great clarity the night she was attacked.

From my own experiences both as a battered wife and the work I did in the UK, domestic violence and alcohol/drugs are often lowly bedmates.

[mirandamac]

So sorry to hear about your, and your daughter's experiences. But it sounds like you came out stronger and hopefully with your support, so will your daughter. Also very brave of you to share it on here.

[Troglodyfae]

mirandamac I am not an advocate of bearing all but I do believe that sometimes things must be talked about, and some experiences shared when necessary. My experiences have taught me that only you can allow yourself to become a victim, and my daughter has realised it is not hereditary.

[Busymum]

all hospitals automatically are obliged to inform the police if they treat anyone that they suspect has been attacked, and they do so, not only on wife-beating incidents.

No, sorry, that is not true.

Busymum

[julian]

I´m not a doctor, nor lawyer ,but what I said is only based on personal experience, when I took a guy (who had been beaten up) to hospital here in marbella, and although he did not make a denuncia, two weeks later he received a notification from the court to make a declaration of what had happened, when he asked the court why, he was told that the hospital have to send a parte de lesiones to the court if they suspect someone has been the victim of an agression. this also seems to confirm :"deberemos advertirle que aunque no presente denuncia ,los servicios sanitarios estmos obligados a la notificacion al juzgado de los hechos mediante un parte de lesiones!"
as I say I´m no lawyer, nor doctor, and I´m sure you are in a position to be better informed that I am.

[crazyred]

I guess things haven't changed that much. If it's a 'domestic' blind eyes are turned pretty quickly

[katy]

I think Julian is correct, the Spanish are really clamping down on domestic incidents. Almost every week there is some demo against violence in the home. However, I wonder if they do sometimes turn a blind eye to Foreigners, especially if it is not so serious. Nothing to base this on, could be wrong.

[crazyred]

Katy, I think Julian was referring to a non domestic incident in which someone was beaten up by an unknown 3rd party. I'm willing to bet that if I went to hospital nursing injuries and when asked told them that it was my husband, that NO further action would be taken. The authorities have never been comfortable getting involved in a domestic dispute, no matter what damage is done to the victim.
Yes they are trying to clamp down on domestic violence and you can go to your local ayuntamiento and get help getting away from the situation, being relocated etc.. but, no charges against the perpetrator will be brought without a denuncia from the victim. I don't think we will see many changes until this is changed. And no, it is exactly the same with the Spanish. The only time I've ever heard of a partner being charged is when they've killed their OH!!

[julian]

things have changed and I think now any hint or suspicion of domestic violence is taken very seriously, the quote "deberemos advertirle que aunque no presente denuncia ,los servicios sanitarios estmos obligados a la notificacion al juzgado de los hechos mediante un parte de lesiones" was actually referring to a situation where if a woman had signs of domestic violence then the hospital is obliged to inform her that even if she doesn´t present a denuncia then the hospital must inform the courts.

[Busymum]

I don't want an argument here and I am not being difficult, I really am not. But I can honestly tell you unless the situation has changed dramatically in the last 5 weeks such violence is NOT automatically reported to the police. I can't say and would prefer not to say any more on the matter and maybe should not have entered into this discussion as I really can't substantiate any more. If anyone wishes more information (not personal) you can pm me and I will be happy to help.

Please, please take this message as 'helpful' to the discussion and not inflamatory as it certainly is not meant to be.

Busymum

[Bongtrees]

The Spanish media has for some considerable time reported the growing problem of domestic violence and now there are new courts open which deal only with domestic violence so perpetrators can be dealt with quickly instead of waiting to go through the normal Courts.

I spoke with a doctor friend of mine yesterday working in the Spanish health service and he said yes domestic violence and crimes against the person have to be reported to the police, with or without the patients permission.

That Busymum wants to take the discussion off the forum is not in my opinion a good one as by talking in whispers behind closed doors is how perpetrators and victims happen in the first place.

[mirandamac]

I can't see where Busymum actually wanted to 'take the discussion off the forum'. It was more that SHE didn't want to discuss it further which is fair enough. She was not suggesting that no-one else should be talking about it. I agree that it's a subject which often isn't talked about and that just makes things worse and often confirms the 'victim's' feelings of shame etc. But we should also respect when someone doesn't want to discuss something in an open forum, for whatever reason.

[princess peach]

Busymum wrote

But I can honestly tell you unless the situation has changed dramatically in the last 5 weeks such violence is NOT automatically reported to the police

Busymum is not a liar and if she writes what she has quoted above,then take this to be the complete truth.

Bongtrees wrote

That Busymum wants to take the discussion off the forum is not in my opinion a good one as by talking in whispers behind closed doors is how perpetrators and victims happen in the first place

I have been reading this thread closely and chose not to comment until now,and now i have decided to comment,for once i am lost for words.
I will say one thing tho.Please choose your words very very carefully,you really do not know what half of us women and men have to go through on a daily basis on this forum.Things you write on here could tip someone who is experiencing beatings from the husband or wife,could just tip one of us over the edge.
Be a little more sensitive with your words,say what you have to say and dont single out one person from the rest.Perhaps support may be a good idea.

[Paula]

That could apply to anything that is written, or to anyone contributing to the forum. Would be like don't talk about wine incase any of us are alcoholics, or don't talk about weight incase anyone is morbidly obese.

[princess peach]

well as far as im concerned Paula ,With Domestic violence,obesity,alcoholism and drug abusing posts and any other personal problems that are written on this forum,some comments that are made could tip someone over the edge,we should all be sensititve in what we write in such cases.Just my opinion of course.

If you choose to be insensitive in these posts thats entirely up to you!

[Lavanda]

Princess, your post brought a smile to my face in an otherwise serious thread. Would you not say that your throwaway line,

"If you choose to be insensitive in these posts that's entirely up to you!"

was, well, rather insensitive?

[Paula]

Errr, don't think I have been insensitive nor am I generally. But then I didn't read anyone elses post as being insensitive either, just my opinion of course
Its a forum full of cyber strangers, not the best place for someone likely to be tipped over the edge by any comments. You will always get a mix of people, some you may feel able to help, should it be your choice to bare your emotions on an open forum. But there will be others who voice an opinion that you could take as ridicule or offensive, whether it is or not.
If someone is so near the edge I would suggest Samaritan's rather than A.com.

[Busymum]

Pending