stupid things i have heard from expats

[patchdog]

Hear are a few stupid phrases I have heard expats say.
You cannot not negotiate on house prices with the Spanish. Needless to say, this was said by an estste agent.
If want want to eat beef you have to accept bullfighting.
I think it should be up to an individual where and when they can smoke.
You should not argue with him, he has been here longer than you.
If the Spanish teacher was any good I should of been able to speak Spanish after 6 months.
You cannot get a survey on a house in Spain.
You should not judge people by what they do and say.

[Julie]

One expat said to me, " I can't believe he can't speak english. i have lived here for 3 years now.
She was talking about the bread delivery man,

[patchdog]

A few more...............
I dont think this problem with the banks will affect anyone.
Why does the Spanish football start so late.
Why cant I pay as I get a drink.
The food is not like it is in the UK.
I dont think young Spanish people will invite you into their house.
Why do they go out so late.
Why is there never anyone on the streets in the afternoon.

[oliveview01]

I know someone who complains that the shopkeepers do not speak English Well, you would think that every Spanish person should learn to speak English to make it easier for the Brits living here wouldn´t you

[patchdog]

There are lots of Brits in Spain, I think the Government should join the Euro, it would make things easier for us.

[frog]

i have just bought a bar

[katy]

I want to live where the Spanish live and no British there. (they speak 3 words of spanish).

Good one Frog

[oliveview01]

Lead bar, gold bar or drinking bar Frog?

[mijas bound]

some crackers on here lol

Many years ago, when i was stupid, i thought of buying a bar in Spain (sorry frog, but i did)
not out of an ex pats mouth but on the agents website were the words:

"We don't take advice from people in bars, so you should'nt either"!

[gretch]

My partner overheard this conversation between two British women at a local market some time ago, one said “oh look that stall is selling two bras for five euros” the other replied, “don’t bother, you can’t buy them here, their breasts are different”

Someone that was obviously new to Spain was giving directions and said, “go down this road and take the third left, you can’t miss it, there’s a house on the corner called............'Se vende'”

[Chrissie]

One of the "Ancient Brits" as I called them, who had lived in Spain for more than 30 years once said to me, "I've been coming to this shop for over thirty years and they STILL don't speak English!" She wasn't being funny either

[karandjon]

Talking about a chicken meal in a spanish restaurant "i´m not having that, i dont know how they cook it here!"
And by desert "Is it Walls?" (talking about the icecream)!!!

[chrissiehope]

We met a family in an inland town - they had moved to Spain (Mum, Dad, 2 teenagers & Granny) and were living in rented accommodation while they bought a 10 bed ruin to do up & turn into a B & B. They didn't speak a word of Spanish - they were just 'asking' to be ripped off !

[patchdog]

Oh are we on stupid things expats have done........
Ive met people who have problems walking, but have bought a house on a steep incline and with no car parking space.
Ive met a lady who was sweet talked into buying a car that lasted 3 weeks before falling apart.
Ive met people who have bought totally unsuitable houses within a week of coming to Spain and sold at an enormous loss shortly afterwards.
Ive met a couple who saw the house they had just bought for sale in an estate agents for 30,000 euros less.
i have met people who have paid more for houses than they were offered to me for. In short Ive met expats who have dealt with English estate agents.

[oliveview01]

I have just realised what Frog meant- I thought he was telling us he had bought a bar He was talking about Brits saying they had bought a bar Had I have a brain I´d be dangerous

[frog]

dont worry olive,its our secret

my wife who is a waitress in fuengirola often gets asked by customers if she lives here

i know people that have bought a ground floor apartment(4 years late,another story)that were told by the agent that the hill in front of it would be removed so they could get late evening sun,they are not friends,just idiots

'the supermarkets are wonderful,everything is so fresh',makes me laugh when the spanish dont understand stock control

my wifes bosses think all their spanish reps are good friends,they were gutted when one sold their business without telling them.THEY JUST WANTED YOUR MONEY YOU FOOLS

but my fave story ever is of a gullible tourist.....

when they used to have the market in fuengirola port,a morrocan carpet seller was showing his wares,the lady agreed a price of about 40 euros and handed him a 500 euro note
the morrocan went to the bar to get change,obviously the owner wasnt going to change that and told him to go away
the morrocan,stopped,thought,dropped his other carpets and legged it
true story,ask john at the marina bar

[princess peach]

I wanted some plastic empty urine bottles(like they give you in the docs when you have to provide a sample)I wanted it to store my collection of seed beads in.
So my friend told me what i needed to say..off into the chemist i went.."botella de pe pee"i said to the lady behind the counter...she looked at me,i looked back at her,then it clicked what my lovely friend had told me to ask for..A Bottle of WEE WEE...no wonder she looked at me weird.
i made a sharp exit,without any bottles.

[patchdog]

Princess, were you growing sweetpeas

[Wicksey]

My friend's neighbour once stopped by to ask if we knew of a builder called Al ........
Al Portador .......
those were the days when you would write out a cheque 'to the bearer' - 'al portador'. Well...... I thought it was funny at the time! He was left with a half-finished pool, so he wasn't laughing!

[scampicat]

'It's really cruel what they do to those mules' (using them as beasts of burden).

'It's really cruel how they keep those chickens' (i.e. in a stable under the house)....'and then they kill and eat them!'

'Why don't they have proper chocolate?'

I also know of a (English) visitor who let out all of the villager's rabbits that she kept in the stable because they thought it cruel that they kept them for the pot.

'I WANT AN ASH TRAY!!!!!' (shouted very loud and very slowly in English to a Spanish waiter by an expat who has lived here for two years even though he was only inches from her.

They really get to me - surely if you know you are always going to need an ashtray you can take the trouble to find out the word for it? I know what they are called and I don't even smoke!

The mule, chickens and ashtray remarks were all made by the same person.