Patricia Shaw

[Wicksey]

Sadly, at 1am this morning, Patricia passed away peacefully at home. I have been very much involved with sorting things out for her and caring for her cat whilst she was in hospital for 5 weeks. She went home Tuesday evening and was reunited with her beloved cat but faded away.

I seemed to be the only person she recognised during her illness although we only originally got to know her because we were her cat sitters from about 2007 onwards. She was a great lover of animals, to a point of rescuing waifs and strays and housing them in her tiny flat until she could rehome them. She also was very interested and had a great knowledge of history, running a local history group at one point. I believe she used to be a tour guide here may years back, but she was a very private person and didn't really talk about her past much. Only this summer did she show me a lovely photo of herself when she was doing conservation work in Guatemala. Such a shame I didn't find out more of that part of her life.

As an aside, it became very clear that she had started processes of completing new wills and taking out a funeral plan but never got around to finalising them. We never got around to completing power of attorney in time so there's a fair amount needing to be sorted out now. Personally we are pretty organised and have wills done, but it does bring it home to you that, particularly as she lived alone, there's now an awful lot that needs sorting out. It's very sad as she has been talking about buying a little bungalow with a garden for her animals for quite a few years, but she never got around to doing that. It's really brought it home to us not to put off doing things. So feeling a bit sad today about her lost opportunities.

I know she appreciated the help she obtained from other members here over the years, particularly Enrique who always tried to help her out with her computer problems when they arose.

We shall also need to find a home for her 19 year old deaf cat. She's a real softy but hates other cats and had to live in our spare bedroom when she stayed here. She really needs to be an only cat with a secure garden or terrace as she is completely deaf so cannot hear cars or other dangers. I am putting the word out in case anyone can home her.

[chrissiehope]

Wicksey, I am sorry to read your news - is this the Patricia who posted on here ? It sounds as though you were a great help & comfort to her, & I hope you manage to sort her affairs & cat without too much stress.
Thinking of you
Chrissie

[Free at Last]

Sorry to hear that, and about the problems you are facing trying to sort out her affairs. One thing I would say, though, that even if you had managed to sort out power of attorney before Patricia died, that would not be of any use now as it becomes invalid once the person who gave power of attorney has died. It's only useful in circumstances where someone becomes incapacitated and unable to manage their own affairs whilst living.

[Wicksey]

Yes, Patricia used her own name on here so many of you will have come across her posts over the years.

Yes, that's true FaL about the PoA. We were going to meet the notary at the hospital but she tested positive for Covid and was taken off to an isolation ward. We tried again on Friday once she was home but we couldn't wake her and it seemed clear by then that we were too late. The hospital did not tell us it was terminal until she was taken home on Tuesday, and I think people thought she may revive a bit once home and we obviously needed PoA so that the carers could be paid etc plus a PoA in the UK to sort out her affairs there.

[Free at Last]

My brother and I obtained Lasting POAs for Financial Affairs and for Health and Welfare (two different ones are needed in the UK depending on the type of assistance needed) via the Office of the Public Guardian in the UK for our late aunt. It was quite a lengthy process, involved someone who knew the person well (we asked a neighbour) to act as what they call a Certificate Provider to confirm that the person giving POA had capacity to make that decision and was not being coerced into doing it, as well as someone (who could not be related to the people applying for POA) to witness the signatures, and it took several weeks for the OPG to issue the grants of POA. So not something that can be organised quickly, and people need to think about setting these things up before they ever become ill really.

[Wicksey]

Yes, we have that all organised for my FiL. As you say, it's not something that can be done quickly and we could never have got it all done in time even if we started a couple of months ago. Now it's a case of finding the wills and the executor in the UK has the job of sorting stuff out there. At least here they are registered centrally via the notary. A much better idea really.

[gerryh]

That is very sad news.
I believe I met her, and you, at a carol service in Nerja a few years ago.
Cheers
Gerry

[Wicksey]

Yes that's right Gerry, we did bump into you. Didn't you also help her once with a computer problem .... or I may have been thinking of another forum member.

[gerryh]

Yes, that was me.
Cheers
Gerry

[olive]

Very sorry to hear that news Wicksey.

Only tonight, a Spanish neighbour said we have to live each day at our age as though it is our last.

RIP Patricia.

[Wicksey]

Thank you for your messages. Patricia was a fair bit older than us but even then, it certainly does bring it home to you.

I'm shocked as to the cost of a cremation here, estimated at over 3000€ and that's without any service. Are the tanatorios state run as there are only two I know of anywhere here run by the same company, a bit like ITV stations! In England there are (or at least used to be) funeral directors on every High Street, family run ones plus the big Co-Op branches too. Her family will have to send money over to pay for it but I don't know how the locals manage to rustle up that sort of money at short notice. Perhaps they tend to take out some sort of insurance or funeral plan to cover the cost here?

[Free at Last]

I think most Spaniards have funeral insurance, taken out when they are very young so the payments are very low, but they may have ended up paying more than the cost of a basic funeral if they have a long life.

Check out https://www.cofune.com/?lang=en

They show the cost of the cheapest funeral (cremation, no wake room) as €1210 in the Torrox area if you complete the questions. I have seen them recommended by others who have used them who said the service was good.

We had a very small funeral for our aunt as she had very few relatives left, a burial in the same plot as her parents according to her wishes, no church service we just went directly from the funeral directors' to the cemetery and had a graveside service conducted by a humanist celebrant and it cost over 4 thousand pounds in 2020. Her bank allowed the funeral director's bill to be paid out of her account (as they did for my father). We had to take the bill into the bank branch. I don't know if Spanish banks do that, though. She had a life insurance policy which she thought would cover the cost of her funeral, she was 95 when she died and the policy had been taken out by her parents when she was a child, but the amount paid out still fell short of the funeral cost. I was amazed that when I rang the insurance company they just took the details and said they were sending me a cheque in the post, they didn't even want a death certificate nor a copy of the Will. Maybe that was because it was such a small amount.

There may be lots of funeral directors in the UK but there is usually only one crematorium per area, run by the local authority. At the services I've been to there, at the crematorium it has been like a conveyor belt system, one group of relatives waiting to go in outside the front entrance until the last group leave by another exit.

[chrissiehope]

In Uk now, there are several companies that offer simple cremations - no service, no attendees etc. They collect the body, and then return the ashes - I don't think it is as 'cold' as it sounds. I'm planning on using one of these, as I have very few relatives & friends in the area, so it saves people from having to travel & possibly stay overnight. Then all my son will have to arrange is for some drinks with any of the local friends, which will save him the hassle of a full-blown wake

[costakid]

In Uk now, there are several companies that offer simple cremations - no service, no attendees etc. They collect the body, and then return the ashes - I don't think it is as 'cold' as it sounds. I'm planning on using one of these, as I have very few relatives & friends in the area, so it saves people from having to travel & possibly stay overnight. Then all my son will have to arrange is for some drinks with any of the local friends, which will save him the hassle of a full-blown wake

That sounds very cold to me but once you’re gone I guess it doesn’t matter. As you say it saves everyone else the trauma of a funeral.

[Wicksey]

We don't want funerals either. Not sure there'd be many to come if we had one anyway! My parents in law were the same. When my MiL died that was the first we'd heard of it. My OH was relieved as he hates going to funerals so we didn't go back to England at all until a month or so after she'd died. We did take his dad out for a meal but he didn't want any fuss. My FiL doesn't want a funeral service either. When my mum died there was a small gathering at my parent's house but no more than a dozen family members. My dad didn't want her ashes so they were scattered in the rose garden behind the crematorium I think. I guess his ashes went the same way as none of the family took them. I had a slap up meal with my brothers afterwards.

Patricia's ashes are going back to be scattered where her parents are buried but she didn't want anything here. It seems that a family member will be paying for the cremation so once that's arranged the death certificate will be issued and the paperwork can then start being dealt with.

[gerryh]

Same here.
We both have a funeral plan so all costs and arrangements are in place.
Neither of us want a funeral service.
Cheers
Gerry

[Pamela1]

In Uk now, there are several companies that offer simple cremations - no service, no attendees etc. They collect the body, and then return the ashes - I don't think it is as 'cold' as it sounds. I'm planning on using one of these, as I have very few relatives & friends in the area, so it saves people from having to travel & possibly stay overnight. Then all my son will have to arrange is for some drinks with any of the local friends, which will save him the hassle of a full-blown wake

That sounds very cold to me but once you’re gone I guess it doesn’t matter. As you say it saves everyone else the trauma of a funeral.

I am not that concerned about my own funeral, they can do what they want. When it comes to a close family member, parents/children/husband then that's a much different story, i don't think i could arrange a simple cremation, in fact i know i couldn't.

[Lavanda]

Very sad news about Patricia. Condolences on the loss of your friend, Wicksey.

Tanatorios are businesses in much the same way as anything else; they provide a service but make money for their shareholders. One of the largest tanatorios in Madrid has diversified into Wind Turbine Energy with a hand in the EU subsidy pot. I only know all this through investigating the company who wanted to site wind turbines on the Sierra de Montánchez. The plan was hard fought against and the protestors (us), won.

I intend to be cremated and my ashes tossed off the side of the local mountains on a clear and sunny day. That will do nicely for me.

[costakid]

half my ashes in the Uk and the other half into the sea east of Malaga.

[Lyric]

My wife has always wanted to be cremated and her ashes buried with those of her pets (4 dogs and a cat at present). This is not legal in either Spain or England. We were watching Kate Humble walking the North Wales Costal Path one evening and she stopped off at a Pet Cemetery near Holywell in North Wales where it is legal and they have people buried with all sorts of animals.
We now have a plot with a headstone currently containing 3 dogs and a cat. Paid up for 25 years care and maintenance.

Oh and a happy wife.