Friends we make in Spain

[katy]

I met someone who got into property management by doing favours for friends. He came out in the eighties to open a photography shop(which failed). By recommendation he grew really big and looked after many of the rich and famous property owners.

[Paula]

Yes I think I missed a golden opportunity! Growing list of non paying clients!
I do get treated to a decent meal though (even if I don't want one)

[julian]

people are the same wherever, it´s just a question of picking your friends carefully
isn´t it strange that most of us here on the forum have met expats who do not behave as they would in their own country, and yet all of us here on the forum would make perfect friends!!!

[Troglodyfae]

Very interesting topic. I have read through everyone's account and there is so much I could agree with. I moved from the Costa Blanca because I really could not stand the bickering, backstabbing and the constant competition to be the top dog socially.

Believe me I could hold my own but I really did not want to compete in some of the petty minded 'keeping up with the Jones'

I have made some very good and very sincere friends over the years I have been here, but in all honesty I could number them on the fingers of one hand. I have made some very pleasant acquaintances, but they are simply that. I have also made the classic mistake of becoming acquainted with the friends from hell, who seem hell bent in keeping in touch despite my reluctance to do so.

I think since moving inland and into the mountains I have become somewhat of a recluse, not intentionally but I do enjoy the solitude and peace, and not having to go to some get together, because I am expected to be there.

I so totally agree with the consensus that taking things very slowly with new friends is the way to go. I like to try and get someone's measure before I make any attempt to offer information.

Maybe I am getting old and becoming a bit of a cynic....lol

[patchdog]

i couldnt agree more, but its a real pity that we have to move to get away from gossipy, nasty people]

[Wicksey]

On the whole, I have found people here quite open and friendly, although have come across some of the strange ones described by others earlier. A couple used to look after our house when it was just a holiday home for us and were always eager to see us on every visit. Once we moved here permanently they dropped us - my OH thought it was out of jealousy as we 'retired' here quite young. It is quite a concentrated microcosm of society here too which is much more diluted when living in the UK. I think you just seem to be more aware of all the odd people around when you live abroad, whereas they exist in the UK but are lost in all the millions of others there, if you see what I mean. Some people have been OTT friendly then dropped us after 6 months, we are very wary of those types now!

Over the years of living here and in France, I have learnt to try to take things slowly when we meet new people. My OH half jokes that we should find out from the start what sort of relationship others would like: going out to eat, going to each other's houses, emailing - regulary/infrequently/rarely/never/on special occasions only/when someone feels like a party .

[spanish_lad]

Its a shame, but it seems to me, that most Brits will be your friend while they think they can screw you for some cash, when they realise they cant they go searching elsewhere

do you live in alhaurin ?

[anis]

[spanish_lad]

its true of so many people i could name

[Scot]

Me too

[tjtops]

do you live in alhaurin ?

Obviously!!!! This town should come with a national 'health of your pocket' warning/....

[spanish_lad]

oh, you´ve met the same people that i have then tj ?

[tjtops]

Very probably SL......cynical, moi??

[dido72]

I can honestly say that all the people I have met so far have been genuine and lovely, at least as far as I know up to now, and we have made friends with a family who we will be friends with for life, they are truly lovely people. Maybe I am naive and easily taken in or maybe it is because we are not desperate to make friends as we are very happy and independant as a family unit so any friends we do make are a luxury not a neccesity.

I have also met some people through this forum who I would consider friends although I do not know most of you very well yet (John, Louise, James, Hilary, Gordon, Christina to name but a few!!) and there are a few more who I have not yet met who I "speak to" regularly and am sure we will meet at some time.

I find it strange that people would want to reinvent themselves and live a lie, by all means omit some aspects of your past, people don't need to know everything, but you will be caught out in your lies and I wouldn't want to be friends with someone I didn't trust, life is just too short

[patchdog]

What is this paragraph about, it doesnt seem to fit in we the rest of the reply.

I find it strange that people would want to reinvent themselves and live a lie, by all means omit some aspects of your past, people don't need to know everything, but you will be caught out in your lies and I wouldn't want to be friends with someone I didn't trust, life is just too short

I do concur with the thought that needing to make friends is wrong move. Some Brits said to me the first thing they needed to do when moving to spain was to, find someone english to run to. This often lead people to run to some estate agents who happily became friends and helped them by charging 10percent fees on a house.
In england I had maybe 4 good friends who I could rely on and visa versa. These friends were built up over a number of years. Here people want to be my friend because I speak the same language, but I find that these people want to lead a coronation street like life, gossiping and generally living in a lifestlye that I detest. English people swearing at each other in bars, ripping each other off, threatening each other, denouncing one another and marital breakup seems to be the norm in this area. Thankfully I have found others who like me avoid these English people at all cost, sadly they are mainly spanish people but not all.

[Scot]

I found one family who became very close friends of ours who lived a BIG lie. However, it took me a good year or two to realise. He said he was in the SAS, then it was the SBS, he's been a stunt man in Star Wars and big blockbuster movies and over time they began to trip themselves up. Our kids were great friends who became caught up in all the lying and I got to the point where I couldn't hold a conversation anymore. For example, the mum would say they went to the circus, next day I would ask the kids how was it and they looked at me blankly and asked what I was talking about? Real conversation stopper All very sad really. I miss the real friends I left behind - the ones who would root for my kids at school sports day and didn't enter into one upmanship Any advice re what to do with competitive mums most appreciated!