How To Sell Your Spanish House To The Spanish

[Scot]

You forgot if you want a really quick sale - keep the light out!! Shut the curtains tight and keep the rooms as dark as possible. Though I have to say, you are describing pueblo or campo houses There's nothing remotely like that in the Malaga area............

[Miro]

There's nothing remotely like that in the Malaga area............

Oh yes there is! We encountered the almost dead old person, literally on their death bed, in the living room, while we were viewing an apartment - in Torremolinos. When we asked (perhaps a little mischievously) how soon we could move in, there was a rather awkward silence.

[IreneD]

Very pleased to see the 'lighten up' comments. I've been thinking today what a humourless element there is on A.com. Have a larf for goodness sake! Beni's post was very funny.

[Chrissie]

Great post Beni - so true
Don't forget the religious paintings - particularly over the beds!

[Jool]

We, too, viewed a house with a dying person in bed..........its very strange........

Irene, I completely agree with you, there are some very humour-less members on here and others that constantly seek to be superior in any way at every chance they see.

Gordon, witty as always, no wonder you were missed.......

[Lavanda]

Apart from the kids, TV, ancient parents, dogs, dirt and religious icons you could be describing my house! Like idiots we underestimated the time it would take for the permission for our campo house and we bought a town house without a garage. As you enter our hall you will fall over wellies, walking sticks, a coat stand so laden it's always falling over, bits of agricultural kit, oddments of rope, plastic sheeting, cans of oil and other things, the compressor, spare seats from our Jumpy while my OH uses it as a van and that's within four feet of the front door. Occasionally we have the generator in the hall as well. I won't go on ...

[katy]

Just as I imagined

[Lavanda]

[chrissiehope]

Sounds just like our entire UK house Lavanda.....

[IreneD]

Jool, yes, that's something else I've noticed, also the people I'm thinking of seem to have a bob or two - money hasn't made them happy.

When we found our little pueblo house, an old Spanish couple were living in it. Our estate agent was talking about the price to them, and asking if there was a possibility of a reduction and a long conversation followed about that, with the old lady being up for it, and the man sort of 'harumphing' and muttering. It turned out they were tenants and didn't even own it! I'm still not sure whether they were hoping we'd thrust handfuls of dosh at them there and then! Lol!

[Scot]

Miro - I couldn't find the tongue in cheek icon

[lemongrass]

Yep, sounds like my house down to old sick granny in front of the telly, dogs in every corner of the house. Instead of children, I have dogs to fill the house.

Good one, made my day!

[Wicksey]

Very funny, Gordon ... and much of it very true too ! We have looked at pueblo houses where you can barely get in the door and around the rooms for all the clutter, and the 'posh' dining room is always crammed full of a huge dining table and about 25 chairs and an equal number of photos. The campo houses always have as many beds as they can squeeze into the bedroom plus all those rickety rustic chairs around the edge of the room in the living area.

Some people on here need to lighten up ........ and see the funny side of life.

[rymanskid]

very funny Benidorm must do that when I put my apt up for sale...

has anyone noticed on the Spainish estate agent websites that some of the pictures only thing missing is the dead granny / grand dad always get the washing,, flea bitten dog in the pics.

[scampicat]

Some friends of ours went to look at a house and there was a dead dog in one of the bedrooms.

[Miro]

Wardrobes. Must have lots of wardrobes. One Spanish gent proudly showed us his finest wardrobe. He opened it with a sort of conjurer's flourish, walked in, opened a door at the back of it, and walked right into the next bedroom! He clearly thought this gem would clinch the sale.
Another one opened a wardrobe door to reveal an en-suite bathroom - again, clearly the owner's pride and joy.

[BENIDORM]

Thanks for your nice comments everyone...well nearly everyone !

Some great stories from you all, I wonder what is the most 'Bizarre' house viewing anyone has done.?

For me it must be the time when I was 'viewing ' a house for sale owned by two 'ladies'...everything quite normal until I was exiting their master bedroom, when my arm caught the handle of the large wardrobe, it swung open to reveal the peg board back of the door...covered in 'toys'....rubber 'doodahs' ,wierd leather thingies...and things I've never seen before....
I managed to shut the door quietly, and hoped that they hadn't noticed.....

And then there was the time when I was shown into a bedroom where a body covered in a sheet, was lying on the bed....poor Auntie the houseowner sobbed...
Regards,
Gordon

[pilgrim2]

Ours was when the owner was showimg us around a house and as we were going up stairs he said the people living there must be still in bed - needless to say we made a hasty retreat

[Miro]

We viewed a studio that had been "Spanishified" as per my previous post - i.e. lots of plasterboard, turning it into a two bedroomed apartment. As we went from room to room, blankets strewn all around the place started moving, and look-see men started emerging from everywhere. There must have been a dozen of them in there - the agent, who had the key, was as shocked as us!

[tjtops]

Well, now I know what to do...actively market my house to the Spanish!
I've got pretty much everything described (plus chickens, tho not actually indoors!)..but I might need to rent an ancient pre-mortification rellie or two to complete the authenticity....hmm...anyone thought of starting a 'rent-a-gran' business to the Brits desperate to sell????!!!!

The other week was Lincolnshire where gaudy borders, Ronseal shed colour varnish on ALL the woodwork, flower power wallpaper and again not a wardrobe in sight and as for the curtains I have never seen anything like it

And OI....less about Lincolnshire pal.....it's Essex which is the land that taste forgot... (only kidding fer C's sake!!!)