.I was told recently, by a Spanish Estate Agent, that he finds it difficult to sell 'British Owned' houses to Spanish buyers.
'WHY' ? I asked...Well he explained 'Breeteesh' people have their houses too neat and tidy, not 'cosy' and 'homely' ...like Spanish homes.
So to help you prepare your home for sale to the Spanish market, may I make the following suggestions....
First make sure the doorway and entrance are mopped well, using lashings of strong smelling bleach to give the impression that you are trying to hide lots of nasty smells..
'Hire' a flea infested, disgustingly dirty dog, to bark repeatedly at prospective buyers, then fill the hallway with a collection of bikes,mopeds, farming implements and empty gas cylinders.
And now we are in the 'lounge', make sure that the television is left on with sound on full blast, scatter young children around in various stages of undress, and put an ancient Grannie or Grandad , who looks dead, in the corner on a broken chair.
And now we are in the kitchen, which you have to duck to get into, to avoid colliding with numerous pairs of voluminous knickers and long johns,dangling.. from ledges and sky hooks, drying.
Put huge pans of 'stew' on the ancient cooker, and make sure you add lots of 'erbs' to make it smell like sweaty socks.
Place loads of empty boxes, bottles and bags everywhere, and now we are entering into the 'patio' area.
Here you can fasten another 'mangy' dog, and scatter loads of dog 'poo', where you are guaranteed to walk in it, spread dozens of empty tin cans, now made into plant pots, with dead plants in them.
And now we are going upstairs to the bedrooms, avoiding piles of dirty clothes and childrens toys on the stairs.
In the 'master' bedroom, place two double beds and a single bed and stack dozens of cardboard boxes in every available space.Make sure the beds are unmade and pile dozens of crinoline lady dolls on them, then put religious pictures and crosses on any remaining wall space, and of course an ancient photo of a great Uncle who fought in the Civil War...Make sure that all other bedrooms are in a similar state, and as a final touch dangle as many pigs legs as you can find space for from the ceilings..And last but not least.. the bathroom,first make sure that the toilet seat is up and it has been unflushed for at least a day, then dangle a torn moss covered shower curtain from a hook near the dwarf bath, which you fill with dozens of empty shower gel bottles, and as a final touch pile dozens of damp towels on the floor...
And 'Bob's your Uncle ' you should achieve a sale within days.
And before you start, I love the Spanish people and really I am joking....
But I'm sure there must be lots of other useful tips to add....
Regards, Gordon.
You really could eat your dinner off the floor - though probably you would not be invited to eat in the house, but at their campo house or even in the campo itself, granny/grandad wont be in the house at all - they will be placed outside the front door on a chair - along with any children that might be around, dad will be at the local bar having breakfast, come on.. toast makes far too much mess to eat in your own home - after you visit when your are shown out, the ever present mop will follow you.......never would a speck of dust be allowed to settle on the highly polished surfaces.............all the brand new clothes bought in the Corte Ingles sale is washed and ironed to perfection before geing allowed to enter the pristine wardrobe, each shoe is carefully polished and placed back in its box in colour order......the dogs are sent out each morning only allowed to return to the patio/parcela next door, at night - in the house ? NEVER!! 
