First of all I'm not a snob, how can I be , after all I'm not really worth much to most people, but on the other side I suppose I can still put a meal on the table, nothing fancy of course...
Anyway I'm known as Bill to my friends, so are you sitting comfortably ?..then I'll begin my little story...
I first came to a bank in Madrid, packed tightly in a large bundle with other notes, but I was crisp and fresh and ready to take the world on...
My first owner was a bartender who ran a rather sleazy bar in a Madrid suburb, but after only a very short time I was given to a really dirty smelly drunk, who folded me a dozen times and then stuffed me in a ciggy packet, I reeked of tobacco for months...
Shortly after the ciggy packet and I were carelessly dropped outside on the pavement, as my smelly owner staggered home, but within 10 minutes I was was picked up by a 'street-person'....
He immediately went to Lidl and bought a big liquid lunch comprising of several cartons of Lidl's finest red wine....
Within minutes I was leaving Lidl in the wallet of a businessman , I felt really cheap now as I was alongside a 100 euronote, who told me he rarely got out as usually he spent most of his life in a large brown envelope under the bed of a Town Hall official....
The next day I was donated in the local church after the businessman went to confession, apparently he goes everyday...
The Priest then spent me at the local bar,and the barmans wife tucked me inside her bra and took me to a lingerie shop where she spent 2 hours trying on new bras...very embarrassing..but interesting....
Then strangely I was given as change to the same priest who had just purchased some sexy red knickers from the lingerie shop...
He immediately went to the local club, where he did pressups with a nice Chinese lady...funny that.. I always thought that most Priests were only into DIY....
And I am still with the Chinese lady who is saving up to bring her sister over from China to help her in her keep fit class....
So you see I am having quite an interesting life as a Five Euro note.....
Regards,
Gordon...
OOPPPPPss..Sorry I intended to put this downstairs in the Amigos Lounge..
