Caroline Neele Sabey - Caroline Mier

Caroline Mier - née Caroline Neele Sabey (1940 - 2023)

 

Caroline Neele Sabey, a British woman who grew up in Rolvenden, Ashford, Kent, moved to Spain in her mid-twenties after marrying Antonio, the drummer of the popular sixties band Los Mustang. She was a passionate and adventurous person who loved horses, gardening, cooking and spending time with her family and friends. In her forties she moved to Andalusia and lived in San Pedro, Ronda and Aracena. She immersed herself in the local culture wherever she went. Caroline was known for her generosity, her wit and her strength.  At the age of 81, rural life in Aracena became too much work, and Caroline downsized to a house in Seville, where she died unexpectedly a month later. She occasionally mentioned her wish that her ashes should return 'home' to Rolvenden and be with those of her parents. 

On 24 June 2024, family and friends gathered at St Mary's Virgin Church, Rolvenden, Ashford, Kent and also remotely via zoom for a non-denominational memorial service, followed by the scattering of Caroline's ashes. The Minister Judy read the following eulogy prepared by Caroline's daughter Jessica Mier and grand-daughter Saskia.  . 

A true Andalusian at heart!

A Kentish Childhood (1940-1960)

Caroline…Daughter of Bettie Sabey and Charles Kingston Neele, was born on the 2^nd November 1940 in Northwood, Middlesex and raised in her beloved Windmill House, Edenbridge.

Here she discovered her love of horses and horse riding. She became an active member of the Pony Club, and vividly spoke of the gymkhana events she took part in, with her best pony, Fawny. She later went on to join the Riding Club where she competed in as many events as possible, and it is here where she met Sarah Whitmore, who remained one of her lifelong friends. She soon grew out of Fawny and thanks to Sarah, Buttons came into her life. They proved to be an excellent partnership as Miss Caroline Neele and Buttons became very much desired for team events, going on to acquire quite a handful of cups and rosettes, which she proudly unpacked and displayed in every home she lived in throughout her life. Caroline also became quite the huntswoman, and at the start of each school holiday, hunting and the horn was the only thing on her mind. This also had pride of place throughout her homes, and later even became cause of many laughs with the grandchildren whilst trying to get some recognizable sound out of it.

The family later moved to Bull Farm here in Rolvenden, where Caroline went on to attend Benenden School. For Caroline, school wasn’t quite on the same level as hunting, with math being particularly her most detested subject…but thank goodness for cookery class! Through these classes, Caroline discovered her love for cooking and together with her natural skill, made her an A-star student in at least one subject…and the reason for her going on to join Eastbourne School of Domestic Economy, which her Mum also attended. Having graduated with top marks, she moved to London where she began to work for Mrs Payne’s Executive Lunches, working alongside her daughter Sally, where they instantly hit it off and remained her closest of friends throughout her life.

 

Holidays to the Costa Brava, Spain (1962-1966)

It was in London where Caroline’s most mischievous and adventurous side began to show and together with Sally and two other girls, like a magnet, one became four of a kind! These four in question, all catering girls of Mrs Payne’s Executive Lunches was made up of Caroline, Sally Payne, Trisha and Suzy, all of whom remained firm friends. Whilst antics and mishaps were common knowledge during work, it was during a quiet period of executive lunches, that Caroline suggested they all go off on holiday to Rosas, on the Costa Brava, Spain. Unfortunately for Mrs Payne, this would mark the beginning of what became a re-occurring and un-stoppable habit.

At the same time, during the early 60s in Spain, a group of handsome young musicians by the name of Los Mustang, were launching their music career in the next-door town of Cadaques. On a quiet evening with little going on in Rosas, the four ladies ventured to Cadaques and, as Caroline always put it, “fell” into a nightclub where they discovered Los Mustang playing. Caroline didn’t let the language barrier stop her and instantly became a groupie. She immediately befriended them all, formed part of their circle and soon started dating the drummer, Antonio Mier. Whilst in England, Caroline would keep in touch with Antonio by exchanging letters, photos and would send him the newest Beatles records released in the UK, and not yet available in Spain. As with anyone who met Caroline, they embraced her as one of their own, marking this the start of what would become for her a new subject to apply herself in…Spanish!

A Rock n Roll Marriage (1966-1980)

On the 19^th October 1966 Caroline and Antonio were married. The marriage took place in secret at the Edenbridge register office in Kent, England with just both parents in attendance. Due to Los Mustang’s success, their manager thought this was best in order not to upset the fans at the news of one of the band members getting married, and therefore unavailable. This would mark the beginning of Caroline’s remaining life in Spain, a country she fell in love with.

Following their marriage, they lived in Barcelona and almost a year later on the 30^th September 1967, with the secret now out, they were able to re-marry surrounded by the group members, friends and family. Caroline became totally integrated in Spain and within the group itself, and spent the next couple of years touring with them.

After a couple of years living in Barcelona and with children in mind, they moved to a house in Blanes, a coastal fishing town an hour north. It is with that move that what was referred to as their “first child” came along, a 3-month-old Shih Tzu, lovingly known as Pingu. Months later, their first daughter, Jessica, was born in May 1969, and by February 1971, their second daughter, Emma, came along. Life in Blanes was idyllic and spent constantly around friends and family. The house belonged to a small residential area called Mas Guelo, which sat on a hill overlooking the town, entirely surrounded by woodland. The immediate 5 or 6 neighboring houses were conveniently made up of other mixed nationality couples with children of the same age group, and in no time, became Caroline’s extended family.

Life in Mas Guelo was fun and exciting, with Caroline’s home being the central hub of all things happening. It also became the meeting point for Los Mustang to rehearse, which inevitably led to them and their families spending many days at the house with Caroline whizzing up what became her famous English cold buffets. This became a regular occurrence throughout the years and Caroline’s Kenwood was always on the go! Everyone was introduced to exciting new cuisine they had never experienced, from Coronation Chicken and Quiches, to summer Trifles and Pavlovas, not to mention endless jugs of Pimm’s. Caroline soon became the center of a cooking movement, and many evenings were spent within the neighboring houses taking turns to host a feast of food from their part of the world.

Weekends in particular were never quiet in Caroline’s household, with the neighbors children running in and out of her kitchen with baked goodies in their hand. Caroline’s traditional English bakes became her trademark, and birthday cake requests were a must! Not only did Caroline win over the children, but she also undoubtedly won over all the parents with her 12 o’clock G&Ts, and her potent homemade sloe gin. Sloe picking season became a terribly exciting time of the year for all. She would gather everyone together, cold drinks in hand, dog in tow, and all would set off into the woods to pick as many sloes as the bags could carry. Of course, the bribe was tea and cake upon return.

Antonio’s family took to Caroline from the moment they met her, and immediately made her part of the family. An English addition for them was very exciting, even if at the beginning the language and their lack of knowledge towards foreigners was totally unknown to them. Caroline often made reference to the endless glasses of milk given to her by Antonio’s mother upon visiting, as that is what they saw the American’s drank in films. To Caroline, who detested milk, this was her worst nightmare and would have much preferred something stronger…and so it was her, who soon introduced them to her G&Ts and homemade sloe gin!

Caroline was certainly the fun factor in everyone’s lives…and specifically for all the children, as there was always something to look forward to. On warm summer days, she would take Jessica and Emma plus a further 4-6 of the neighboring children, along with an additional mother brave enough to join her, into her Mini with parasols, sandwiches, a cold box, a large watermelon and would set off for the beach. The first task always being to put up the parasol, and the second was to bury the watermelon in the wet sand… a Spanish tip she picked up in order to keep it cool. As an exciting treat, she would also organize a children’s camping night in her garden, with a large tent being set up, lilos inflated and with the children being sent off to camp with a can of baked beans and a tin opener.

Every July also became an exciting time of year as Caroline would set off, with Jessica and Emma, on her yearly trip back home to England whilst Antonio stayed on working. She would drive to Narbonne to catch the auto couchette to Calais, followed by the boat to Dover, eventually arriving to the UK to spend the month in Bull Farm with her Mum and Dad. This was a trip she looked forward to every year as she missed the home comforts not available in Spain. It goes without saying that for the journey back, the Mini would be packed full of all sorts of English goodies not available then in Spain, such as Ribena, Cheddar Cheese, Jacob’s Cheese Biscuits, Digestives and Cress Seeds, to the English Bath Cremes and Hand Soaps she so loved, to mention but a few.

Not surprisingly, a musician’s schedule being more often than not incompatible with a family lifestyle, sadly led to Caroline and Antonio divorcing fifteen years later. However, a loving friendship and much time spent as a family remained right until the end.

Move South to Andalusia (1980-1992)

After a couple of years of uncertainty on where to settle next, Caroline’s curiosity for the south of Spain grew as she often reminisced about a horse riding trip in Alora, a little village north of Malaga city, which she made with a friend many years ago in her early twenties. Her adventurous nature prompted her to re-explore the area and ended up in a small town near the sea, called San Pedro. With this move came the birth of her first granddaughter, Saskia. The new addition to the family was the perfect excuse for Antonio and his parents to travel often to San Pedro to spend more quality time together, and so this saw Caroline’s Kenwood once again working flat out! Although these were happy times, a couple of years later, Caroline came to the conclusion that what she really longed for was the country lifestyle she remembered so fondly from her childhood… and with that took the bold decision in 1991 to move to an old Andalusian farmhouse called Quinta La Romana (MA-7402 km2) outside  the beautiful mountain town of Ronda. Her next big adventure was about to take off!

Caroline being Caroline, and not one to ever take the easiest of routes, purchased what was almost a ruin, but the idea of restoring it to her liking was something that excited her terribly. The property had plenty of land and with horses in mind, it will come to no surprise that stables were the first thing to be built, and soon after, welcomed what she referred to as her “two boys”, Golfo and Fred. Having taken up riding again, Caroline was able to enjoy hacking out with friends, family and especially her grand-daughter Saskia, who shared her passion for all things horsey, and so with that, came the necessary addition of her own pony… adding also to her ever-growing collection of dogs! She firmly believed that all these strays turning up and “peaking” their heads through the gate was because “word had gotten round” that life was good at Caroline’s… which it certainly was… so much so, that many of her friends often mentioned how in their next life, they’d like to come back as one of Caroline’s dogs!..

Given the amount of land, she was also able to fulfill her love for gardening and grow anything she could either eat, or use to make jam! After converting what once were the chicken coops and pigsties into extra en-suite bedrooms, she also decided to throw herself into providing a bed and breakfast stay for those visiting the area.

Life in Ronda provided Caroline with a great social life and really got her creative juices flowing. It saw her attempting a variety of crafts, many of which were crazy and didn’t last a month. One of her brave ideas came from the flock of sheep she had grazing on the land, which inspired her, having no idea whatsoever, to suddenly purchase a weaving loom and start what she believed would be her weaving empire… but just the construction of said loom in the sitting room, along with the task of cleaning the sheared wool before even being able to weave a rug, resulted in her grand empire quickly fizzling out.

This took her on to her next great idea… having a go at making paper, but again, in struggling to press the fiber for it to become its “paper-thin” requirement, the frustration alone made this venture didn’t last very long.

Her enthusiasm however didn’t deter her from her third attempt, which saw her create a small factory in her kitchen of homemade soaps, bath fizzes and oils. An array of various silicon moulds and small glass bottles were ordered with great excitement and her products soon became as popular as she was. This venture however lasted for many years, with her natural soaps becoming, together with a pot of home-made jam or marmalade, much loved gifts she would dish out to her nearest and dearest, as well as enjoyed by her paying guests.

It was during the twelve years in Ronda that Caroline formed exceptional long-term friendships whilst immersed in her cooking, riding and hosting. She not only became an invaluable, loyal, and much-loved friend but a great support for those needing help. One of the things that always came naturally to Caroline was her facility and ease in mixing with locals, as well as expats. It was these Spanish friendships in particular, that influenced Caroline further into all things Andalusian, which soon saw her array of English dishes expand into more traditional recipes such as pig-cheek stew, fried salt-cod dumplings and fried anchovies, and with this came the excitement of a deep fat fryer becoming the new “must-have” in her already crowded kitchen.

The bed and breakfast project soon took off becoming an instant hit thanks to not only her natural charm, hospitality and her great cooking and hosting, but as a result of her appearing in a fabulous article which featured in the GB Airways in-flight magazine, written by her good-friend and long-time Ronda resident, Pam Elson. A friend of Pam's put Caroline in contact with Cartwright Studios of Manchester looking for a venue in which to photograph garden furniture and outdoor equipment. This became a yearly event, which brought a lot of good times filled with fun and laughter, but above all, additional long-lasting friendships.

Caroline’s love for food and cooking introduced her to fellow cooks which took her to cooking courses, not far from Ronda, in Gaucin. This would mark the start of further lifelong friends such as Sally Von Meister, Maria José Sevilla and Anna, amongst others, all of which shared their common love of Andalusia and Spanish wine!

Gaucin being the social hub it is, coupled with the friendships Caroline had made there, saw her taking part in many of their events such as various courses and craft fairs, where on occasion she would set up stall and sell her soaps and bath oils. She also once threw herself into one of their painting classes, where having turned up late and thirsty downed a sherry upon arrival and on joining the class, found she had not grabbed a water cup… resulting into having to mix her paint by dipping her brush into her sherry, whilst realizing that painting was not for her…

Time with family was also something that was very important to Caroline and with Antonio and family more often than not coming to visit, gatherings were regular, with Christmas in particular being her favorite time of year. Antonio would fly down every year from Barcelona to spend the holidays with her, Jessica, Emma and Saskia. Christmas was the one thing that always remained an English tradition and family affair through and through, from the mammoth tree decorated in the sitting room, to the roast turkey with all its trimmings and flaming Christmas pudding, to the Christmas crackers whilst Frank Sinatra belted out his Christmas album. However, once word got out of this tradition, to her shock horror, the local neighbor was quick to run up the hill and present her with a live turkey, which nobody at home was brave enough to kill… however, a prime example, even though she soon had to put a stop to it, of the fondness shown towards her by those lucky enough to have known her.

Twelve happy years on and as Ronda became more and more overpopulated with tourists, something Caroline always tried to avoid, she decided the solution would be to move further in land, and with that, another adventure was brewing.

Escaping Tourists in the Mountains of Huelva (2004)

It was after many riding excursions to Aracena, with her Ronda riding group, that she discovered and fell in love with this mountain village set in the Sierra de Aracena Natural Park in Huelva province, and famous for its black acorn-fed Iberican pigs and cured ham. It was one day during a lunch trip to Aracena, that her adventurous side once again took control of her and upon seeing a property advertised in the window of an estate agency, she rang up asking to view it straight away… she was sold!  And this marked the beginning of what would become the following eighteen years living in Aracena, which unlike the other areas she lived in, was almost entirely a traditional Spanish community.

In true Caroline style, once again the property called Finca La Barquera was in a state of ruin and far worse than her previous one, but the excitement didn’t stop her, even though it meant living in rented accommodation for months to come. As usual, building the stables was the first call of duty, followed by what would become her large rose garden, fruit orchard and vegetable plot. A year later, the building works were completed and with that, soon after, saw the birth of her second grand-daughter, Daniela, her third grand-daughter Mariana arriving a couple of years later, and the birth of her fourth and final grand-daughter, Olivia, four years after that.

It was the large acorn grove on her land that inspired her to this time try her hand at a small-holding of black Iberican pigs, and soon acquired 3 piglets which she referred to as “The 3 Marias”. Caroline was thrilled at the idea of making her own sausages and as she put it, “live off the land”. Once the “The 3 Marias” were fully grown, together with a hefty team of local women to show her the ropes, she was on her way to her first pig slaughter and chorizo-making!

With her “two boys” now settled in their new stables and with more time on her hands, riding became a daily occurrence, and with that the introduction to a new riding group from the village. She soon found herself immersed in traditional cultural events such as taking part in the local pilgrimage and attending the yearly summer fare on horseback. “Living off the land” would not be complete for Caroline without her own eggs, and therefore building a chicken coop was next on the cards, where soon she welcomed a small group of bantams, which saw her receiving more eggs than she could eat or bake cakes with!

With her orchard now in full motion and having watched Countryfile speak of the production of pistachios, she did not want to miss out and immediately bought herself the male and female plants required. Unfortunately, having waited patiently 2 whole years for 5 pistachios to form, a hungry deer put an end to her pistachio plantation, something she wasn’t best pleased about.

Her roses, however, took pride of place in the garden and grew so tall it was often hard to spot her when she lost herself amongst the bushes to catch a “whiff” of their scent. Her array of varieties was huge and in particular David Austen’s collection, which she eagerly awaited to receive in the post, having discovered the world of online shopping.

Her move to Aracena never became an obstacle for the family and friends she had made throughout her entire life, as they continued to travel no matter how far to see her. There was something about Caroline that made those that knew her want to be part of her life and in her company. She was one of these people that always kept in touch with friends, phone calls, letters, Christmas cards, gift boxes and having very reluctantly gotten to grips with technology, even emails... although she blamed the computer with rage saying “it does what it wants”, when instead of pressing “send”, she’d press delete!.. resulting in having to re-write the whole thing again…

Seville and Orange Blossom (2022)

At 81 years of age, country life in Aracena became too much work for Caroline, with her “two boys” long gone and having now sold in order to downsize, she stayed for a few months with her good friend, Sally Von Meister, in Gaucin until finally settling into a house in Seville, where she unexpectedly and so sadly passed away a month later.

There is no doubt she meant different things to different people, but I am sure we can all agree that she was a great Mum, fantastic Granny and a fabulous friend, with the most generous of hearts and who valued her friendships like nothing else…she was funny, incredibly witty and her mere strength and fearlessness were nothing but inspirational.

Having lived in Spain most of her life and whilst referring to herself with pride as “Spanish”, in the last couple of years, she mentioned on occasion, her desire for her ashes to return back home and be with those of her parents, and so with this, the reason we are all gathered here today, proving to us all that “homecoming never gets old…”